Sunday, May 28, 2017
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Truth be told, i have been writing a lot on other platforms but it seems like putting it all on a proper blog like this is no longer a luxury.
I am not writing to complain. In fact i am thankful to have a very supportive family and a good relationship despite all the struggles. I am just trying to be ambitious here as i pray that this will serve as a blueprint for everyone out there to:
1. avoid repeating my mistake; or
2. do the same thing as i did if i ever manage to survive this shithole.
I hope this writing will add value to anybody;s life...Tom, dick and harry, Abu, Samad, Nordin.
Life as a studying working adult.
I serve in a large corporate structure of content provider (read: media) as part of a bitchy team to check the internal control of the company. Honestly, i love this job. Especially the industry im in. its just that i dont have enough to make ends meet. (boombastic!!!)
I am now spending my time commuting 4 hours a day just so that i can come out with reports that will add value to the operations of the company. The job requires lots of writing which im fine with it but requires extra working hours. As a commuter, this is a CHALLENGE. Sometimes the extra hours arent necessary...its just the culture.
I am doing my MBA now as my investment to pitch into a better position in the corporate world. It will took sometime until 2017 to complete.
Basically i have nothing to complain on my scope of work and the industry i live in because i like it. Having said that, i am also full of greed. I sometimes yearn for something more. Time and Money.
My business in insurance is a flop. Closed down. I tried to start all over again but i just cant for the time being. Case closed. All i did now is to serve my current clients the best i can.
It is not that i dont want to pursuit this career, i love the vibes and energy. I love the people im with.
I did the business once, i know i need to be fully committed with the business and it doesnt fit my hectic schedule as a commuter and a long haul corporate police.
I managed tours on part time basis. I love doing it. I dont have the luxury to be on leave and go on tours anymore.
I will write something on this later.
In 2014, before i started working, i was pre empted on possible weight gain and true enough...the numbers are now up to 105.5kg. I tried various way to go on a diet which resulted in yo-yo results.
Its 2015, and is till did not come any near to go Arnold....I have nothing to complain as i choose this life. i Have nothing to complain.
I bought myself a handsome condo which will cost me RM2,000 per month in 2018. Im suffering just to pay the interest now...Until its completion date...i'll be dead.
Wait....im already dead now as i am also servicing the loan for my handsome car and my credit card bills and other commitments.
SUMMARY: LESSON FOR ALL
In short, if you take the time to analyze the root-cause of the struggles...it all ties back to Greed.
I was greedy in making the move to purchase things that i cant afford yet. I was ambitious.
Never did i expect that my insurance business can no longer bail me out from the financial struggle which led me to move back with my parents in Seremban and starts commuting on a daily basis. I didnt foresee that i will grow so much fat within a year.
Something to BE THANKFUL
I believe the everything happens for reasons.
In a corporate world, i get the opportunity to learn lots of stuff..the politics, human behaviour, the way to talk and business process..EVERYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW WITH A FIXED SALARY.
I commute on a daily basis which allows me to see my parents and get their daily blessings. As a muslim, that is the biggest blessing.
The struggle had strengthen my relationship with the one i love. It was tough but it gets better and better. It improves the flow in communicating as a couple. We have a long way to go and theres a lot more to explore in preparing our next step.
Most of all, i am thankful to know that i survive and i am still alive and breathing healthy.
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Lately i have been thinking a lot about the future. Everytime when im alone,either when im driving my car or when i was alone staring at the ceiling trying to sleep,all i think about was my future. Will i be what i expect myself to be?
I used to have this mentality of "i want to be rich". I dont know why but since i was a small kid, i have been embracing the ideology of being rich will keep me away from problems. I dont know how it all started.
I joined the business im in now, about a year ago. The reason im in the business was that i want to be rich. That is all. I saw people driving nice cars, staying in a big house, spending money like water, and do lots of other stuff commoners like me wont get the chance to do.
As time goes on, somehow my perception changed. Being rich but sick. Fuck it. I dnt want that. Rich but you have the world on your shoulder. No. I dnt want that.
As you grow your wealth, your responsibility grow. That's the price of being rich and it is a heavy burden.
Then again, i think, people who we see as rich, work really hard not really because they want to be rich. They work hard and become rich because they love what they did.
That is why, sometimes, people obsess with money usually will go nowhere. Like me now.
We can never convert a dollar sign in our eyes into money.
In order to be succesful, the dollar sign needs to go. Honesty is the best policy.
I myself conclude, that all the wealth comes along with passion and hardwork.
"usaha tangga kejayaan - peribahasa"
Monday, March 11, 2013
Right now i am sitting in a classroom full of people...the lecturer is talking the language i suppose to understand well but i couldnt interpret. The room is cold and everybody seems to have their eyes wide open..some is listening,some is digesting and a few is pretending.
The exam is around the corner and i freak out. With a lot other responsibilities,i seem to have lose a part of the battle. My career is sinking. No money coming in,and it seems like everything is going out. Deficit. However im still glad there is someone rescuing me. Thank you. But until when?How long?
Im trying to take things slow but my head is exploding.
Now onwards, my utmost priority is to finish my degree and that is what i should do.
I will talk to god more often, meditate in my 5times a day prayers and wake up early.
It feels so good to finally let go things from my chest.
Lots of love,
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
I have mentioned in my post before the reason why I am up to accept the challenge of losing weight.
I have passed 30days of dieting and exercise regularly and lost an amazing 10kg.
To be precise,today is day 40 of my program.
Was it hard the first 30 days?
Yes,i wnt lie.
Was it harder after that?
Yes, mainly becoz it is raya season.
How does doing this has keep me closer to my goals?
Yes, the first 30days of doing it, I have train myself to control the temptation of enjoying the unhealthy and delicious food. It reflects my determination and personality. If I can lose weight,i can do anything.
What keeps me going?
I want to look good. I want to be healthier . I want to adapt strict discipline in my daily routine. I want my business which is based on trust to grow. I want to inspire those obese friends of mine to be healthy. I want to live healthy and longlife. I want to have a great body, and run without my shirt on at the beach.
Today is day 40. On day 39 I have started to convert my diet plan to green juice diet. Inspired by Joe Cross. Thank you joe for such an informative and cool movie.
I have passed the first day succesfully.
I hope to reboot the whole system in my body and lose more weight.
I want to lose another 10kg this month and make sure I wont see a three digits on my scale forever
'when there's a will,there's a way'
Thursday, August 23, 2012
it was somewhere in February 2011 where i just got back from a solo trip, and on the very next day i need to start working and rush back to my hometown in Seremban after work. I was carrying a very big bag behind my back fill with souvenirs, and some stuff that i manage to sell later.
Around 6.30 pm, after work, i was ready to go back and push off to Seremban. I need to walk around 1km to KL Central and get my car. So i was in a bit of a rush.
At the lift, i saw this very sweet and tall lady idle, with her paper bags. She seemed tired but she smile as our eyes met.
Though she seems tired, she suddenly talk..and the conversation did not end until we enter the lift. She talk and talk and we end up walking together to the station while i shared some of my experience and journey in Padang.
The conversation ended up at the station and i saw a blackberry in her bag.
The very next day, i went out to Sg Wang and i got myself a blackberry..
post ni x best langsung hahahahahahaha
I would visualize things coming to me. It would just make me feel better. Visualization works if you work hard. That's the thing. You can't just visualize and go eat a sandwich. - Jim Carrey
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I no longer take anything that contains sugar n oil except for virgin coconut oil.
At first it was tough,coz i love anything deep fried to my bones but as time goes by,it turn out tonbe alright..i wont die if i dont get goreng pisang,but i wilk die for having goreng pisang excessively.
Throughout ramadhan,i have been able to be strong by rejecting all the food in front of me.
During the agency dinner where they served lamb briyani,i took salad instead.
At my nephew birthday party where everybody had fried rice with sotong celup tepung n kungpo chicken,i had steam fish instead.
At my iwn house where everybody is eating their foOd,i maintain my stand,maintain my mental strength.
I strive to be different,to succeed,this is the whole idea of me starting up in the first place.
I will make a change i will change and i hope to change other people as well.
Now i'll get my beauty sleep,coz tomorrow is gonna be a long hectic day.
A few close longtime friend is organizing pot luck event at my place. I stand by my decision,
NOT EATING IT WONT KILL ME, BUT EATING IT WILL KILL ME SOMEDAY
Sunday, August 5, 2012
At certain point in life, there is a very huge needs for you to change and transform.
Tell me one person who does not change a bit?
Personality might not change, asshole continue being an asshole..mr niceguy continue being a loser till the end of his life...but how could anybody compete with age?
Even Malaysian Cyborg like Kak Nita is aging day by day.
All the motivational talks that i attend to, countless sharing sessions with those million dollar salesman, has emphasized on the power of change, the power of positive thinking, the law of attractions, and blablablabla.
I am convinced that i am a great salesman, but i am a salesman who doesnt show much result. I believe i have a big issue. It is my ATTITUDE.
Some part of me often look for excuses like i am focusing more, extra miles on my studies but when i have no classes in this semester break, i still suck at my sales.
The main problem here is attitude and then followed by my screwed up system and activity, and the last part is record keeping.
The other problems are easy to overcome when i can solve my first problem which is my attitude.
That is why, the moment when a close relative challenged me on a weight loss program i did not hesitate.
So what does all that got to do with my attitude problem?
My boss, the one i always idolised often told me to never focus on the problem, but focus on the solution.
I believe by participating and putting the whole effort in this weight loss challenge is the SOLUTION.
You see, when i started dieting on the 1st day of Ramadhan, i was a fat 24 years old weighing around 115kg, a lazy person, and i am stubborn, egomaniac, control freak, and loves food.
What if i can control one thing, and change the whole idea of me being me?
The idea is, what if i can control my diet, make sacrifices here and there, add workout routine in my schedule and lose weight, thus becoming a new me?
My theory is, if i can change my diet, my crave for food, i can automatically change my attitude in becoming a more positive person.
What i really mean is, when you can handle your desire, control what you want, and accept the fact that you cant have something for your own good, you already reflect a positive attitude that would somehow be implemented in your daily life.
So for me, all the talks, inspirational and motivational talks, and sharing is a waste of time when you have a bad attitude.
It has been two weeks since the first day is started on my conquest, and so far i have lost 8kg...i am now 107kg. Did i see any changes in my attitude these 2 weeks?
First, i think i have become a happier person.
Secondly, I learn to reject and object
Third, I learn the word acceptance
Forth, i am a more discipline person
That is just four that i can think of, but it is only 2nd week..i have a very long way to go.
Among other things that i want to change are:
3. Wake up time
Why do i have to put all this in my blog?
Remember when i said that record keeping is among my other problem?
Well this blog is the record, and whoever read this is my witness for my transformation.
Will anyone support me on this journey?
I know i will never walk alone.