Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Iwan tak kesah....

My name is Iwan. I am 8 years old. My hobby is reading. I dont know how to draw and i dont have a pet.My father is banker and my mother is a teacher. My favorite subjects are English, Mathematics and Science. I buy Tunas Sains and Rakan Sains every month. I want to be smart like Along too.My favorite comic book is Misteri Naga.I like listening to radio too.My favorite radio station is Sinar FM.

My favorite radio is Sinar FM because i love Abang Jem. Sometimes people call him Saleh or Mat Saleh. Iwan x kesah pun. Abang Jem is neither a man or woman because sometimes Abang Jem talk like girls and he does aerobic like Mama. I never see Papa do aerobic.

Abang Jem said he has 4 wives. I want to be like that too, because man can marry four times and got 'pahala' like building a mosque 4 times. I dont have money to build a mosque because building a mosque is expensive. I can only marry because if Abang Jem can do it, so can i.

I also want to learn English from Mat Salleh. If every kids in Malaysia can learn English from Mat Salleh, we dont have to learn science and maths in English. We can speak like we come from London and get job easily.

My most favorite hobby is to listen and watch advertisement on Tv and Radio. My favorite advertisement is Kopi Janda. I love listening to Kopi Janda advertisement because i like the song. Now i know why people in TV and old man love janda. It is because Janda menggoda. Men drink Kopi Janda because Kopi Janda Yang Menggoda.

I also like another advertisement because it is funny. A husband ask a wife to drink coffee. After the wife drink it, their bed broken. The husband then said, "alamak, patah lagi"
It is funny because because everytime the woman drink coffee, she will become fat. Everytime she become fat, the bad will broken.

Teacher said, every woman get married and pregnant will become fat just like her, but Mama is not fat.

Maybe because teacher drink coffee every night.Iwan x kisah...

Aiman tak kisah - Aiman, AMP radio network commercial

Monday, March 1, 2010

Heroes, Power, Gift, Responsibility, Noble and Humanity

Have you ever experienced any weird things/feelings in your life?
Is deja vu weird enough?

I dont know how Deja Vu works or what the hell it is because i never got the time to google or wiki for it. However, if Deja Vu and Deja Moss is actually the same phenomenon, i might get a brief picture of it. Or even, if both of them are some sort of same thing like two sisters from the same womb, i might get a reflection of what it is. I may presume the situation is when you sit alone in the dark, at the center of the field, and the darkness is darker than black,when suddenly a pair of huge, big spherical giant spotlights stab your eyes with uncomfortably, bright yellow light brighter than the shine from the sun, and you thought you would suffer blindness for the rest of your life, when you actually not. As time goes by, after adjusting to the rare condition, the brain has translate it as pleasuring moments and you can never stop staring at the artificial twin sun light.

After quite a long pause, I'm convince both phenomenon is not of the same category, though the pronunciation and spelling is similar.

Having said everything above, i actually have been experiencing some weird things in my life which has led me to think that i may have the superpower. I may be the chosen one. Which is in fact is super cool besides of all the super uncool and super ridiculous 'heroes' setback that we can see on television which i think is the propaganda to deny and to stop the birth of superheroes, so that the strong could terrorized the weak.

Seeing what Hiro Nakamura, Peter Petrelli and Claire Bennet have to suffer,.the existing mutant and ordinary people with great responsibilities and powers will be paranoid to show their powers and what they can do in public or even among families. People scared bad things might happen just like what they see on TV, so they keep their power and secret to themselves for the safety of people close to them.

So i sit down and do loads of brainstorming and thinking what are the pros and cons for revealing my superpower to everyone. Among the good things, i saw girls taking shower in front of me and giving me the b2b massage for free and of course, the thought of enemies chasing after me, terrorising people close to me, and interfering my leisure time during my shower with girls who are topless and massaging me. Damn... that is so uncool!!!!

Maybe i should wear a costume...wear a mask..so that public wont recognise me. I'll start by going to IKEA and steal some of dull and plain curtains there.

So..it's time for me to reveal my dirty little secret..my superpower. I have discovered that i have the power to make things happen at my will. Few days back, i had been thinking about this classic comedy movie in my mind. The thought of Eddie Murphy sparked in my mind and suddenly i laughed. The day after that incident, as i switched to HBO, that movie was on TV..I was shocked like hell. So from that day onwards, i have put my power into practice..my daily routine.

Like any other superheroes, i admit that i actually have some setbacks. I cant have pressure on my back or else it might turn my power into "reversal effect" which is the syndrome very common among the superheroes with hormonal, anger management, emotion problems due to stress.

So guys, the thought of this might cross into your mind "no wonder he failed 4 subjects in a year..that must be his lame reason"

But i say...that's not it. I was deeply influenced by the propaganda of the 'Heroes setbacks'. I dont want anybody to recognise my power and harm other innocent people close to me. I made this sacrifice for the sake of world peace and humanity.

Now, Give me my noble prize.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars - Persian Proverb