Sunday, March 24, 2013

Self check

Lately i have been thinking a lot about the future. Everytime when im alone,either when im driving my car or when i was alone staring at the ceiling trying to sleep,all i think about was my future. Will i be what i expect myself to be?

I used to have this mentality of "i want to be rich". I dont know why but since i was a small kid, i have been embracing the ideology of being rich will keep me away from problems. I dont know how it all started.

I joined the business im in now, about a year ago. The reason im in the business was that i want to be rich. That is all. I saw people driving nice cars, staying in a big house, spending money like water, and do lots of other stuff commoners like me wont get the chance to do.

As time goes on, somehow my perception changed. Being rich but sick. Fuck it. I dnt want that. Rich but you have the world on your shoulder. No. I dnt want that.

As you grow your wealth, your responsibility grow. That's the price of being rich and it is a heavy burden.

Then again, i think, people who we see as rich, work really hard not really because they want to be rich. They work hard and become rich because they love what they did.

That is why, sometimes, people obsess with money usually will go nowhere. Like me now.

We can never convert a dollar sign in our eyes into money.

In order to be succesful, the dollar sign needs to go. Honesty is the best policy.

I myself conclude, that all the wealth comes along with passion and hardwork.

"usaha tangga kejayaan - peribahasa"

Monday, March 11, 2013


Right now i am sitting in a classroom full of people...the lecturer is talking the language i suppose to understand well but i couldnt interpret. The room is cold and everybody seems to have their eyes wide open..some is listening,some is digesting and a few is pretending.

The exam is around the corner and i freak out. With a lot other responsibilities,i seem to have lose a part of the battle. My career is sinking. No money coming in,and it seems like everything is going out. Deficit. However im still glad there is someone rescuing me. Thank you. But until when?How long?

Im trying to take things slow but my head is exploding.

Now onwards, my utmost priority is to finish my degree and that is what i should do.

I will talk to god more often, meditate in my 5times a day prayers and wake up early.

It feels so good to finally let go things from my chest.

Lots of love,