ShahrizwanZainal

The toxicity of a city...of a city...... Psycho groupie, cocaine crazy makes you high makes you high..... Pull the tapeworm out of your ass........ *********** Somewhere in the rural side of Malaysia...a group of kids were yelling and screaming to the rhytm of the Armenian American Band, SOAD. It was during prep class where everybody were supposed to study for their exams. With walkmans, earphones, hairstyles and 'selipar jepun', they gather around a table and became an eyesore to those who wanted to study. One kid was pretending to hold a drum stick and smack the drum set, while the other two had their hand in the position of holding and playing the guitar. Serj Tankian and Darron Malakian wannabe. The others, they watched and sing along. Those were the days they rebel and care less about the rules and regulations. Rules are meant to be broken. "We are chanting and singing for world peace" argued one of those kids when people started to terrorized the group with word...

Recently....recently.......i have been busy thank god!!!

She's taken!!! If only i knew her earlier!!! ............................................. Money and women. The reasons for most mistakes in life. Looks like you've mixed up both.- Slumdog Millionaire, 2008 (Movie)

Kenyang Aku melantak. Breakfast, 2 weddings, 2 Teas..gila Letih Aku drive all the way, to Sg Besar, patah balik ke Taman Tun, Kelana Jaya, Seremban balik Insaf Dengar cerita orang balik Mekah. Insaf. Cuak Aku terfikit balik, though I may sound ridiculous, but who knows what would wait for me if I ever visit the Holy City. Terharu Makcik aku cakap, dia lambai dekat Kaabah sambil panggil nama aku. In other words, she prayed for me to visit The Holy City. Rasa terharu gila. Denial Aku cakap dekat makcik aku, aku belum sampai Paris lagi. Sedar All the way balik ke Seremban aku fikir and recall segala dosa salah dan silap. Memang hina. Sehina hina Manusia. Aku sedar. Lupa Ya, Melayu mudah lupa. Aku harap aku ingat.

I am panting and i was struggling to breath, As though the infinite amount of Oxygen in the air were not sufficient for me. My eyes were all blurry. My wet t-shirt add on another few kilos on my body. With a glass of water, i walked around the circle. I took a deep breath and i let go. Each time, i felt a little bit better. "My friend, you look fit. I see your changes" said the old man with spare tyre. smiling, my reply was simple "i havent lose any weight for 3 months ++..Plateu and i dont give a damn". It was Late September. 7 Months after my jogging routine and 3 Months after i started working. Frankly, working life will screw your diet and lifestyle. Trust me. "My friend, have you try any of the girls here?" the old man asked. By this point of conversation i cannot help but laugh. I am not Barney Stinson who will go and approach girls with somekind of an interesting story and do whatever it takes to score whole in one. I wish I am. "Chee Sin, you ...

"Kiddo, get married yo, have a girlfriend" the old man told me "they are pain in the ass, in fact i was thinking to be like you, uncle" my solid and confident responce which made him giggle. I wonder why. "if you turned out to be like me, you wont feel complete. There is always some space to fill in," and he paused. "it is a good feeling to go home, to have reason to go home, to have someone to keep you company,and to know that you are complete," he smiled while shooting bullets through my brain. "yeah, they are a pain in the ass, they play hard to get, annoying, but you know what, young man, they are not perfect, and their imperfection will complete you, isnt that right?" smoothly and fluently the advice came out, and it was like he is somekind of a preacher or something. I couldnt come up with any other points to deny what he said, as it is very true, and i have to embrace the fact that i lost the debate. We laughed and continue our r...

i run almost everyday.... runaway from problems runaway from stress runaway from commitment every chances i got i run.... i believe i could have cover the whole world if i sum up the distance..... physically..... i run almost everyday...unlike the metaphore, sometimes i walk..and then i run... today i ran again..like usual....fast.......but then i somehow didnt have the energy to go on..so i tuned down a lil bit.... i was scared....and i run..i was devastated, i run again..... what keeps me going? it is just that when i run, everything else starts to make sense again. i dont care if i live in a life full of lies....no..that's a lie....i lie all the time..... and when people run away from me, i kept on running..and i was hoping someday we will somehow...i dont know how to say this...but the quote may our path cross again is distinct in my ears now. It is like someone is whispering..... When will this end? I dont do it for pleasure, i do it for the pain -Lance Armstrong

Honestly waking up in the morning is often the hardest part of my day. Especially when me and Scarlet Johannson is on the way to make love, when she hold my head and i was kissing every inch of her and about to reach her breast when she suddenly vibrate and keep on shaking my head. I wonder why. The next thing i knew, it always end up with my mobile phone besides me, shaking and forcing me to wake up and leave my dream. Wet dream. I had this kind of conversation with my friend about this kind of dream. How can we adjust the timing, make it earlier and how to be in control of our own dream. To never interrupt the love making process. Back then during my school days, one of my senior, he seems to have this kind of ability to control his own dream. A Kelantanese. A tall and dark boy who bragged a lot. One word that i could still recall was "ko, kalu mu nok raser sek pun bulih, masa tido mung pakso jaga, dale mimpi mung tampar tampar muko mung sampei bangun dale mimpi tuh, lepas tuh, ...

2002.... Aku turun daripada bas yang bahang. Masjid hanya beberapa jengkal saja tapi aku singgah dulu di gerai Keropok Lekor, sambil usyar akak jual air. Azan Jumaat dah berkumandang. Tapi budak budak masih tenang meratah keropok lekor 10 sen 2 keping. Sedang aku menggigit gigit keropok lekor liat, datang Amsui sebelah aku. Sambil berborak entah apa aku lupa. ************ Aku dengan Amsui kawan biasa. Bukan rapat pun. Kalau aku lepak bilik dia pun, dia selalu tak ada. Spesies manusia liar yang dominan, memang berlainan dengan aku yang agak low profile. Amsui memang kering, bukan badan aja yang kering, tapi hati pun kering. Tak padan dengan kecik. Memang lain dengan aku. Pemberontakan aku lebih kepada verbal dan diam diam. Pemberontakan Amsui lebih fizikal. Kami minat muzik. Oi!!!!, Punk, Streetmusik, Clockwork Records, System. Semua muzik pemberontakan. ******** Amsui menghampiri seorang mamat buruh daripada negara seberang. Sambil aku bercangkung sebelah Amsui. Asap keluar berkepul ke...

1994.... I was a kid, a romeo. I bet back then i knew how to treat a woman better than now which is 16 years later. in a kindergarden, a girl asked me. "mak kiter cakap, jeles tuh maknanya suka" i, the young antonio banderas, puzzled. "kiter jeles dengan awaklah". i, the young johnny depp, puzzled. *non fiction There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. -Josh Billings

Aku bangun dari katil. Pusing badan kiri kanan, kanan kiri sampai keluar bunyi krekk krekk krekk...stim siot. Terus aku sarung keramat, pakai spender dan keluar rumah. Sampai dekat mapley, aku jalan mendada. Mata mata galak pandang aku. Aku rasa macam artis. Aku duduk...seminit tengok skrin...2 minit.....39 minit.....45 minit........sejam setengah........dua jam..... Aku bangun tapi semua orang pandang aku lagi. Suara sumbang buat bising belakang kepala aku.."bang, pakai baju blackpool lepas nih" aku balik bukak seluar dan tido pakai baju keramat sambil senyum.

At the end of a phone call.... perempuan: mok, kirim salam pada parents ko ya me: hanya jika ko nak jadi menantu diorang perempuan: tak payahla macam tuh me: celaka... I dont know why, but after so long, after a week of having weird thoughts and, beautiful nightmare, i finally smile the moment after i said celaka...all the way to ear. And that's a relief. Selamat Hari Raya! smile like you mean it - The Killers

Bunyi dengung bermain main di cuping telinga. Aku fokus. Aku mesti pejam mata. Aku mesti tidur. Aku gagal. Aku buka buku baca. Buku baca aku. Sebenarnya aku ingat aku dah merdeka. Bebas daripada jajahan. Bebas daripada apa sahaja yang mengikat. Lalu sampai aku di alam lain. Sebijik seketul sama macam alam yang aku lepak sekarang. Aku sendiri tak tahu aku ada di alam lain. ************* Lebih setahun lalu, aku dalam kancah pergolakan. Penjajah menjajah segalanya dan habis sumber hasil bumi diangkut. Permainan mereka hebat. Entiti bagaikan superhero. Mahu menyuburkan tanah gersang, mahu berkebun memberi hasil. Memberi harapan pada fakir. Benda yang paling kejam dalam dunia ialah apabila harapan ditarik balik. Baik tak payah bagi harapan langsung. Dan dengan suka hati entiti datang dan pergi, fakir terpinga pinga. Memang kaki dia tak boleh duduk diam. Nak dipotong kaki, diikat, dan dipaksa, tapi fakir bukan macam tu. Aku duduk dalam rumah terbaring atas lantai, kotak suara dah habis. Aku ...